STeAlyouRBUCKS

In a college town, there are many places that try to take advantage of inexperienced, dumb-as-a-brick frat boys, daddy-bails-me-out sorority girls, throwing-money-at-it-solves-all-of-our-problems Johnson County kids. But none more so than Starbucks. So you go in expecting to pay $first-born child for a venti white chocolate mocha w/shot of chocolate carmel espresso, that's a given. But here's where they get you. You wanna log on to the internet to check your e-mail, blogs, fantasy baseball, your fantasy relationship with your fantasy girlfriend? Its gonna cost ya. $2.99/2-hour log-in, or $9.99/mo. No thank you.

I imagine that this is to keep some of the riff-raff out, but last time I checked the riff-raff was just discovering that WWE RAW had been moved to Monday nights and that they could upgrade their single-wide to a double-wide. I mean the 22-hour laundromat in aggieville has free internet and it has all of the town's riff-raff who more or less live there (more).
So how is the monster defeated you might ask? Simple really, see what other networks are set-up in the area and log on to one that you don't need a password to (I suggest the one entitled "Motorola"). How do you think I'm posting this right now?
Dear Starbucks,
You may be able to charge me my first-born child for one of your delicious gourmet coffee drinks, but I will not sell one of my kidneys to use your internet. You have been defeated. Jerk-heads.
Love always and forever,
Stephen